Confessions
by Arty vs Eddie
Summary: Hinata Shouyou is straight. 100%. But that doesn't stop him from having a boyfriend.- Headcanon orientations for Hinata and Kageyama; this fic explores Hinata's sexual and romantic orientations, with a flashback at his confession to Kageyama Tobio in their first year of high school. Follows anime (I'm not up-to-date on the manga) and is a slow start (sorry). T for (mild) language.


This is my first fic for an anime/manga, so the characterization may be a bit sketch, sorry. And yeah, headcanon orientations... but it gets cute at the end, so bear with it? Thanks! (reposted from my tumblr)

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Hinata Shouyou was straight. He was 110% positive that he was 100% heterosexual. It wasn't something he made a big deal about, and it wasn't like he was against being gay—he didn't find it awful or gross (why would he? What did it really matter who other people found attractive?)—but it just wasn't how he swung. And it not like he didn't try—he _really _really tried—but he just couldn't…well…get _it_ up for another guy. He had watched gay porn (well, he had _tried_ to watch gay porn—considering he didn't even watch much 'regular' porn, porn of the dude-on-dude variety was a bit out of his league), he read gay manga (and while he actually really like some of the stupidly sweet shounnen ai, he was always, _always_, put off by the sex), and he even fantasised about gay sex (so often, so vividly, that it practically seemed like it had actually happened); but none of it made him even the slightest bit aroused. He wasn't the type of guy that couldn't appreciate the attractiveness of members of the same sex: hell, there were some guys he knew that were just plain _beautiful_ and he had no problem telling anyone if he thought they looked nice. That's just how he is, and he didn't feel the need to act like some ridiculously paranoid jackoff by constantly asserting his heterosexuality.

Hinata Shouyou was most definitely straight. He knew it, his family knew it, it friends knew it, even the one person who most would think _shouldn't_ know it, his most important person, knew that Hinata was straight. When asked if he was gay, though, Hinata was likely to give a noncommittal shrug, or maybe say that he was bi. It was easier that way—less confusing for whoever was asking—and Hinata didn't actually care that much if people thought he was gay. After all, he had thought he was gay for a while.

Hinata Shouyou had a boyfriend. They had been together since partway through their first year of high school. Well, they had been together since they started high school, really, but it only really became dating after the Inter-High. It took Hinata a while to realise his feelings for his boyfriend. Unlike with the crushes Hinata had in the past, his feelings for his boyfriend were much harder to distinguish as love, without the accompanying lust he felt towards the girls he had liked. At first, he had thought it was simple: hatred turned to friendly rivalry and close friendship. But none of Hinata's other friendships, no matter how close, no matter how long, felt the same as his friendship with Kageyama.

Hinata's feelings for the tall, grumpy, scary, setter were unlike his feelings for anyone else. He realised that fairly early on, actually, but he didn't realise it was love until a fair bit later—until their defeat at the Inter-High. Seeing Kageyama feeling so sad, so _defeated_, it killed Hinata. In that moment, he would have done whatever, given _anything_ for Kageyama to return to his regular self, angry scowl and all. All of Hinata's teammates were feeling the weight of the loss, Hinata himself was angry and sad over the outcome of the game, but it was Kageyama he wanted to fix, Kageyama who didn't deserve the pain of losing. Hinata knew it was love when he felt that way after the Aoba Johsai match.

After realising his feeling, Hinata tried his best to find Kageyama attractive—_sexually_ attractive. He didn't want to confess, and on the off-chance that he was accepted, have to say something stupid like "I can't have sex with you because I couldn't even think of it". No, he thought that he should be able to look at Kageyama in the same way he looked at the girls he had liked in the past. It didn't take long for Hinata to come to terms with the fact that it just wouldn't work that way, no matter how much he wanted it to. Sure, he knew Kageyama was handsome: tall, blue-eyed, strong, with soft and straight black hair, and sometimes he looked absolutely adorable when he smiled; Hinata had known this, been thinking about Kageyama in these terms for almost the entirety of their high school relationship. But no matter how he thought of the taller, darker boy, no matter what he imagined, Hinata could never feel anything stirring in him when he thought of the other boy, except for the occasional acceleration of his heart (which already happens sometimes with Kageyama anyway, be it from fear or love) and the occasional butterflies in his stomach (also something that happens regularly enough). Hinata gave up. There was no point in trying to change himself, trying to force himself, especially when it was entirely, highly, almost certainly, possible that his confession would be rejected anyway. Hinata made up his mind.

It was almost two weeks after the Inter-High loss, two weeks of frantic practices and pushing forward, learning new moves, trying new set-ups, doing anything and everything they could, as a team, to get ready for the spring tournament and overcome their past selves. Hinata and Kageyama were walking home together after practice. It was cold, and they took turns pushing Hinata's bike and warming their hands. Hinata hadn't even needed to ask. They talked about this and that on the way home, complaining about the cold, swearing to win the spring tournament, doing what they normally do. When they reached Kageyama's turn, where they parted every evening, Hinata hesitated.

"Umm," he began, stopping Kageyama before he even had a chance to leave. "Do you have a minute?" Kageyama starred at the shorter boy, causing Hinata to fidget and mumble: "I…I'd like to...umm…talk, if you…" the organ-haired boy trailed off, brown eyes wide as they flicked to the boy in front of him and down to the sidewalk, his breath clouding before his face.

"Weren't we just talking?" Kageyama looks baffled, and Hinata understands his confusion. Hinata, as far as Kageyama knows, has no reason to be flustered.

"Well, yeah, we were. But this is about something…" different? Important? Hinata can't find the right word and trails off. Then he huffs, shakes his head, and looks Kageyama in the eyes.

"What?" blue eyes stare back, Kageyama's face a confused glare, reflected slightly in the large brown eyes staring at him. A pink hue rises in Hinata's cheeks. "Hurry up, dumbass, you're going to catch a cold if you stay out here much longer." Hinata's eyes widen and he quickly looks down, as more pink spreads to his face.

"Kageyama!" the short boy shouts, sudden and loud, his eyes once again meeting those of the setter. Hinata has a determined look on his face, much like the ones he sometimes gets during practice. "I like you!" Hinata notices Kageyama's eyes widen, colour slowly creeping into his face, and the setter turns his head away from his friend.

"I like you too, idiot," the words are muttered and difficult to make out. Kageyama is still turned away from Hinata.

"I _mean_," Hinata stresses the word, making it ridiculously long, "that I really like you. I like like you." Hinata is speaking slowly, as though he were explaining something important to a child (which, honestly, it what he thought he was doing; there was no way Hinata was going to let Kageyama brush off his confession as an affirmation of their friendship).

"I KNOW THAT YOU IDOT! DUMBASS HINATA! WHAT DO YOU THINK I WAS SAYING?" Kageyama whirled around to glare at the other boy. "GODDAMN IT, MORON, YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW?" Hinata's eyes were wide, his mouth hanging open. "I LOVE YOU TOO, BASTARD!" Kageyama huffed, his face red and his eyes narrowed. It took Hinata a moment to process, then he laughed.

"Sorry Kageyama," he finally gasped, after Kageyama had hit his head to get him to stop laughing. "Sorry," he said it a second time, sincere and serious (although the fact that he was still rubbing the spot on his head where the setter had smacked him deterred from the sobriety of the moment). "Of course you knew, how could you not? But I couldn't stand the idea of you not completely understanding—after all, it took a lot of courage to confess…"

"You call that a confession?" Kageyama snorted. "It doesn't count if you have to clarify it. I win this one."

"No, you don't. It doesn't take the same amount of guts to declare your love after the other person has started confessing."

"That might be true, but what you just did doesn't count as a confession because you needed to make yourself clear—that means I win."

"No, it doesn't!" Hinata pouted, crossing his arms.

"It does," Kageyama smiled at the pouting boy, before frowning again.

"What?" Hinata peered up into the blue eyes.

"Well, um…how do…ugh," the tall boy's face was bright red and he was clearly struggling to find the right words to express whatever it was he deemed important.

"What is it?" Hinata was even more curious, wondering what Kageyama could possibly be trying to say. Hinata knew that the dark-haired boy was generally inarticulate, but this seemed to be a new level of lost.

"It's just, um, well…embarrassing, to, you know, talk…" Kageyama faltered and halted, his face even redder than before, his eyes looking everywhere but at Hinata. As Kageyama fidgeted and gestured vaguely, Hinata suddenly understood.

"Is it about sex?" he asked, straightforward, eyes on Kageyama as the boy startled at the frankness of Hinata's tone. The setter nodded, not meeting the decoy's eyes, mumbling something into the collar of his jacket. "What? I didn't catch that…" Kageyama's blue eyes met Hinata's brown ones, wide and panicked. Hinata could read the fear in those beautiful blue eyes. "What?" he asked once more, his voice gentle and coaxing.

"I…" Kageyama hesitated. "I don't think I can have sex you." He said it in a rush, the words rushing out and tumbling together. He avoided Hinata's eyes. The shorter boy was silent for a moment, then laughed. It wasn't a reaction Kageyama was expecting, a breathy laugh of relief. The setter stared at the other boy.

"I'm sorry," Hinata looked slightly abashed, "but I'm really glad you said that. I wasn't going to bring it up, and I would have tried if you ever wanted to, but…" Hinata shrugged. "I'm not actually gay, you know?" He didn't actually expect Kageyama to understand, and he wouldn't have been surprised if his words hurt the other boy, but Kageyama nodded eagerly.

"I'm not gay either…" Kageyama tugged on his sleeve, looking at the ground. Then he met Hinata's eyes.

"But I love you," they burst out at the same time, both trying to assure the other of their love.

"So, I guess we're dating now, huh?" Hinata asked, smiling brilliantly. Kageyama smiled and nodded. Hinata grabbed one of Kageyama's arms and pulled the boy closer before standing on his toes to kiss the taller boy's cheek, the bike squished awkwardly between them. "Goodnight," he breathed near Kageyama's ear as he pulled back.

"Night," Kageyama muttered, face red as he turned to leave.

Hinata Shouyou is straight. He knows it, his family and friends know it, his boyfriend know it. But Hinata Shouyou is also bi-romantic. So when people ask if he's gay, he shrugs or says he's bi, because it's a lot easier to explain. Hinata's boyfriend isn't gay. They've discussed it a few times, after they started dating, trying to figure out how they could be in love, really and truly in love, but not be gay, not want sex. That's when Hinata found out that Kageyama didn't want sex at all—not with boys and not with girls. It honestly didn't surprise Hinata too much, and it didn't bother him at all. Because the two of them were happy together and very much in love.

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Yeah, hope you enjoyed - feel free to tell me where it sucked! Also, if you are someone who's read my AF stuff... I AM SO SORRY OH MY GOSH I WILL (HOPEFULLY) UPDATE SOON!


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